False Appearances (1819)

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ. MEN. Bob Jackanapes, ( A Dandy .) Tim, ( His Companion .) Old Worthy, ( Emily's Father .) Truelove, ( Emily's lover .) Taylor, Constable, Tinker, Servant, &c. WOMEN. Emily, Miss Amanda Amelia Charlotta, — an old maid and aunt to Emily.

Scene lies in New-York.

ACT FIRST.

Scene 1. A miserable apartment in the attic regions — a dormant window, with several panes of glass broken out, old hats and a bundle of rags supplying their place — A pair of corsets hanging over a cot in one corner of the room — an old broken chair — a table with three legs on which is seen a pair of eye brows, whiskers, false calves, and a small broken toilet glass. BOB and TIM discovered — — The former dressing, and Tim stripping himself: after which, he leaps on the cot; and covers himself with an old rug. Tim.

Contains 20 words in 4 sentences using 96 chars .

Bob.

Contains 68 words in 5 sentences using 346 chars .

Exit. Tim. ( Raising up on the cot )

Contains 38 words in 5 sentences using 173 chars .

( Eats his bread and cheese with voracity — Bob returns and looks in .) Bob.

Contains 28 words in 3 sentences using 131 chars .

( disappears .) Tim.

Contains 25 words in 2 sentences using 112 chars .

( puts the balance into his mouth .) re-enter Bob Bob.

Contains 19 words in 2 sentences using 86 chars .

Tim. ( in the act of swallowing )

Contains 22 words in 3 sentences using 115 chars .

Bob. ( enraged )

Contains 10 words in 4 sentences using 45 chars .

( advances timorously. Tim hides under the rug — Bob gathering courage attacks him — Tim springs from the cot, seiezes a bason of dirty water, and dashes it in Bob's face — Bob screams — they both stand still in turn. Bob.

Contains 15 words in 5 sentences using 79 chars .

Tim.

Contains 12 words in 3 sentences using 70 chars .

Bob.

Contains 21 words in 1 sentence using 113 chars .

Tim.

Contains 16 words in 3 sentences using 66 chars .

Bob.

Contains 26 words in 4 sentences using 121 chars .

Tim.

Contains 16 words in 4 sentences using 79 chars .

Exeunt.

— Scene Second. Act First A room in old Worthy's house — Enter Emily and Miss Amanda Amelia Charlotta. Miss A.

Contains 22 words in 3 sentences using 129 chars .

Emily.

Contains 54 words in 2 sentences using 283 chars .

Miss A.

Contains 33 words in 6 sentences using 192 chars .

Emily.

Contains 22 words in 2 sentences using 101 chars .

Miss A.

Contains 31 words in 2 sentences using 143 chars .

Enter Servant Servant. ( To Emily )

Contains 9 words in 2 sentences using 50 chars .

Emily.

Contains 4 words in 1 sentence using 29 chars .

Exit Servant.

Contains 6 words in 1 sentence using 45 chars .

Miss A.

Contains 32 words in 3 sentences using 192 chars .

Exit.

— Scene Third. Act First Old Worthy's sitting-room — Worthy musing enter Emily. Emily.

Contains 16 words in 3 sentences using 77 chars .

Worthy.

Contains 13 words in 2 sentences using 69 chars .

Emily.

Contains 7 words in 3 sentences using 44 chars .

Worthy.

Contains 71 words in 4 sentences using 361 chars .

Emily.

Contains 46 words in 2 sentences using 240 chars .

Worthy.

Contains 53 words in 5 sentences using 278 chars .

Exit. Emily.

Contains 26 words in 4 sentences using 153 chars .

Exit.

Act Second.

Secne 1. Outside of old Worthy's house. enter Bob. Bob.

Contains 93 words in 7 sentences using 459 chars .

Exits into the house.

— Scene Second. Act Second Inside of old Worthy's house — Miss Amanda Amelia Charlotta discovered sitting. Miss A. ( calls )

Contains 1 word in 2 sentences using 8 chars .

( enter servant .) Servant.

Contains 4 words in 3 sentences using 28 chars .

Miss A.

Contains 10 words in 4 sentences using 55 chars .

( Enter Bob .) Bob. ( bowing often )

Contains 23 words in 2 sentences using 138 chars .

Miss A.

Contains 15 words in 2 sentences using 84 chars .

Bob.

Contains 28 words in 3 sentences using 152 chars .

Miss. A.

Contains 16 words in 2 sentences using 89 chars .

( aside .) Bob.

Contains 16 words in 2 sentences using 77 chars .

( Enter Emily .) Emily.

Contains 14 words in 2 sentences using 79 chars .

Bob.

Contains 6 words in 3 sentences using 37 chars .

( aside .) Miss A.

Contains 5 words in 2 sentences using 30 chars .

Bob. ( Advancing to Emily )

Contains 28 words in 3 sentences using 155 chars .

Emily.

Contains 21 words in 2 sentences using 115 chars .

( aside .) Bob. ( Turning to Miss A .)

Contains 34 words in 3 sentences using 177 chars .

( Looking at her tenderly — then glances at Emily to see the effect — Emily strives to conceal a laugh Miss A. ( Simpering .)

Contains 15 words in 2 sentences using 73 chars .

Bob.

Contains 21 words in 3 sentences using 93 chars .

( Gives her another tender look. Enter Trueloves who gives a scrutinizing look at Bob; who turns away .) Truelove.

Contains 7 words in 1 sentence using 46 chars .

( to Bob, who lows very low — then edges towards the door — Truelove, seats, himself by Emily and they discourse in low voices. Bob.

Contains 24 words in 4 sentences using 109 chars .

sneaks out. Truelove.

Contains 17 words in 4 sentences using 81 chars .

Emily.

Contains 6 words in 2 sentences using 32 chars .

Miss A.

Contains 23 words in 2 sentences using 114 chars .

Truelove, ( cooly .)

Contains 19 words in 2 sentences using 95 chars .

Emily.

Contains 13 words in 2 sentences using 62 chars .

( confusedly .) Truelove.

Contains 13 words in 3 sentences using 66 chars .

Exaunt Truelove & Emily. Miss A.

Contains 64 words in 6 sentences using 306 chars .

Exit.

— Scene Third. Act Second Bob and Tim's Lodgings — Tim on the cot as before, & snoring — Enter Bob in great haste; langhing immoderately — Tim starts — sits up — yawns and rubs his eyes. Bob.

Contains 27 words in 10 sentences using 125 chars .

Tim.

Contains 20 words in 3 sentences using 100 chars .

Bob.

Contains 75 words in 5 sentences using 386 chars .

( laughs immoderately — Tim awakes and stares at him in amazement .) Tim.

Contains 7 words in 2 sentences using 33 chars .

Bob.

Contains 8 words in 2 sentences using 38 chars .

Tim.

Contains 21 words in 2 sentences using 96 chars .

Bob.

Contains 22 words in 4 sentences using 102 chars .

Tim. ( Makes an effort to speak boldly )

Contains 7 words in 2 sentences using 34 chars .

raising himself on the cot Bob.

Contains 32 words in 3 sentences using 133 chars .

Tim.

Contains 15 words in 5 sentences using 73 chars .

Bob.

Contains 33 words in 7 sentences using 171 chars .

Tim.

Contains 22 words in 3 sentences using 96 chars .

( aside ) Bob. ( Searching his pockets )

Contains 8 words in 1 sentence using 38 chars .

Tim.

Contains 8 words in 3 sentences using 37 chars .

Bob.

Contains 3 words in 1 sentence using 13 chars .

( while Tim is getting an old hat to toss up, Bob edges towards the door .) Tim. ( heaves up the hat .)

Contains 3 words in 2 sentences using 15 chars .

Bob.

Contains 1 word in 2 sentences using 7 chars .

Tim.

Contains 3 words in 2 sentences using 16 chars .

Bob. [ Opens the door slyly, and begins to unbutton his coat .)

Contains 14 words in 2 sentences using 74 chars .

Tim.

Contains 79 words in 7 sentences using 374 chars .

Act Third.

SCENE. 1. ( A room in old Worthy's house — Worthy, Truelove and Emily — a servant standing. Worthy. (To servant .)

Contains 22 words in 3 sentences using 119 chars .

Servant.

Contains 11 words in 2 sentences using 52 chars .

Worthy.

Contains 75 words in 6 sentences using 357 chars .

Truelove.

Contains 25 words in 2 sentences using 126 chars .

( taking her hand ) Emily.

Contains 23 words in 1 sentence using 120 chars .

( with gaiety ) Truelove.

Contains 6 words in 2 sentences using 29 chars .

Worthy.

Contains 37 words in 5 sentences using 216 chars .

Exeunt.

Act Third — Scene Second. A street — Enter, Taylor, Constable, and Tinker. Taylor.

Contains 6 words in 2 sentences using 38 chars .

Constable.

Contains 9 words in 2 sentences using 36 chars .

Tinker.

Contains 33 words in 5 sentences using 164 chars .

Taylor.

Contains 17 words in 3 sentences using 85 chars .

Constable.

Contains 27 words in 4 sentences using 126 chars .

Exeunt.

Act Third — Scene Third. Night — Outside of Worthy's house Miss Amanda Amelia Charlotta at the window, and veiled. Enter Bob. Bob.

Contains 14 words in 3 sentences using 65 chars .

Sings —

Contains 38 words in 8 sentences using 197 chars .

AMANDA.

Contains 34 words in 5 sentences using 192 chars .

BOB.

Contains 33 words in 4 sentences using 191 chars .

going to kneel, pulls out his 'kerchief, and spreads it down. — Amanda disappears from the window Bob.

Contains 33 words in 6 sentences using 160 chars .

Taylor, Constable, and Tinker, peep in, on one side Tinker.

Contains 7 words in 3 sentences using 34 chars .

Enter old Worthy. Truelove and Emily with a servant bearing a light from the opposite side Worthy. ( to Amanda .)

Contains 16 words in 2 sentences using 82 chars .

Miss A. ( shricks )

Contains 9 words in 5 sentences using 51 chars .

Bob.

Contains 11 words in 3 sentences using 58 chars .

( aside Truelove [To Bob

Contains 16 words in 2 sentences using 89 chars .

Bob. [ aside

Contains 10 words in 3 sentences using 49 chars .

runs — they stop him Tinker.

Contains 18 words in 3 sentences using 90 chars .

Constable.

Contains 6 words in 2 sentences using 22 chars .

Taylor.

Contains 5 words in 2 sentences using 23 chars .

Truelove.

Contains 15 words in 3 sentences using 84 chars .

Tinker.

Contains 39 words in 4 sentences using 181 chars .

Exeunt, Bob, Taylor, Constable and Tinker Truelove.

Contains 25 words in 8 sentences using 124 chars .

Worthy and Emily unite in the laugh Worthy. [To Amanda

Contains 50 words in 1 sentence using 278 chars .

Exeunt into the house

Finis.