Scene 1
Enter Justice Shallow , Slender , and Sir Hugh Evans .
SHALLOW
Sir Hugh , persuade me not . I will make a
Star-Chamber matter of it . If he were twenty Sir
John Falstaffs , he shall not abuse Robert Shallow ,
Esquire .
SLENDER
In the county of Gloucester , Justice of Peace
and Coram .
SHALLOW
Ay , Cousin Slender , and Custalorum .
SLENDER
Ay , and Ratolorum too ; and a gentleman born ,
Master Parson , who writes himself ‘Armigero’
in any bill , warrant , quittance , or obligation —
‘Armigero !’
SHALLOW
Ay , that I do , and have done any time these
three hundred years .
SLENDER
All his successors gone before him hath
done ’t , and all his ancestors that come after him
may . They may give the dozen white luces in their
coat .
SHALLOW
It is an old coat .
SIR HUGH
The dozen white louses do become an old
coat well . It agrees well , passant . It is a familiar
beast to man and signifies love .
SHALLOW
The luce is the fresh fish . The salt fish is an
old coat .
SLENDER
I may quarter , coz .
[9]ACT 1. SC. 1
SHALLOW
You may , by marrying .
SIR HUGH
It is marring indeed , if he quarter it .
SHALLOW
Not a whit .
SIR HUGH
Yes , py ’r Lady . If he has a quarter of your
coat , there is but three skirts for yourself , in my
simple conjectures . But that is all one . If Sir John
Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you ,
I am of the Church , and will be glad to do my
benevolence to make atonements and compromises
between you .
SHALLOW
The Council shall hear it ; it is a riot .
SIR HUGH
It is not meet the Council hear a riot . There
is no fear of Got in a riot . The Council , look you ,
shall desire to hear the fear of Got , and not to hear
a riot . Take your visaments in that .
SHALLOW
Ha ! O’ my life , if I were young again , the
sword should end it .
SIR HUGH
It is petter that friends is the sword , and end
it . And there is also another device in my prain ,
which peradventure prings goot discretions with
it . There is Anne Page , which is daughter to Master
Thomas Page , which is pretty virginity .
SLENDER
Mistress Anne Page ? She has brown hair
and speaks small like a woman ?
SIR HUGH
It is that fery person for all the ’orld , as just
as you will desire . And seven hundred pounds of
moneys , and gold , and silver , is her grandsire upon
his death’s-bed ( Got deliver to a joyful resurrections ! )
give , when she is able to overtake seventeen
years old . It were a goot motion if we leave our
pribbles and prabbles , and desire a marriage between
Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page .
SLENDER
Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred
pound ?
SIR HUGH
Ay , and her father is make her a petter
penny .
[11]ACT 1. SC. 1
SLENDER
I know the young gentlewoman . She has
good gifts .
SIR HUGH
Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is
goot gifts .
SHALLOW
Well , let us see honest Master Page . Is Falstaff
there ?
SIR HUGH
Shall I tell you a lie ? I do despise a liar as I
do despise one that is false , or as I despise one that
is not true . The knight Sir John is there , and I beseech
you be ruled by your well-willers . I will peat
the door for Master Page . He knocks . What ho ?
Got pless your house here .
PAGE
, within
Who’s there ?
SIR HUGH
Here is Got’s plessing , and your friend , and
Justice Shallow , and here young Master Slender ,
that peradventures shall tell you another tale , if
matters grow to your likings .
Enter Master Page .
PAGE
I am glad to see your Worships well . I thank you
for my venison , Master Shallow .
SHALLOW
Master Page , I am glad to see you . Much
good do it your good heart ! I wished your venison
better ; it was ill killed . How doth good Mistress
Page ? And I thank you always with my heart , la ,
with my heart .
PAGE
Sir , I thank you .
SHALLOW
Sir , I thank you ; by yea and no , I do .
PAGE
I am glad to see you , good Master Slender .
SLENDER
How does your fallow greyhound , sir ? I
heard say he was outrun on Cotsall .
PAGE
It could not be judged , sir .
SLENDER
You’ll not confess , you’ll not confess .
SHALLOW
That he will not . ’Tis your fault , ’tis your
fault . ’Tis a good dog .
PAGE
A cur , sir .
[13]ACT 1. SC. 1
SHALLOW
Sir , he’s a good dog and a fair dog . Can there
be more said ? He is good and fair . Is Sir John Falstaff
here ?
PAGE
Sir , he is within , and I would I could do a good
office between you .
SIR HUGH
It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak .
SHALLOW
He hath wronged me , Master Page .
PAGE
Sir , he doth in some sort confess it .
SHALLOW
If it be confessed , it is not redressed . Is not
that so , Master Page ? He hath wronged me , indeed
he hath ; at a word , he hath . Believe me . Robert
Shallow , Esquire , saith he is wronged .
Enter Sir John Falstaff , Bardolph , Nym , and Pistol .
PAGE
Here comes Sir John .
FALSTAFF
Now , Master Shallow , you’ll complain of me
to the King ?
SHALLOW
Knight , you have beaten my men , killed my
deer , and broke open my lodge .
FALSTAFF
But not kissed your keeper’s daughter .
SHALLOW
Tut , a pin . This shall be answered .
FALSTAFF
I will answer it straight : I have done all this .
That is now answered .
SHALLOW
The Council shall know this .
FALSTAFF
’Twere better for you if it were known in
counsel . You’ll be laughed at .
SIR HUGH
Pauca verba , Sir John , good worts .
FALSTAFF
Good worts ? Good cabbage ! — Slender , I
broke your head . What matter have you against
me ?
SLENDER
Marry , sir , I have matter in my head against
you and against your cony-catching rascals , Bardolph ,
Nym , and Pistol .
BARDOLPH
You Banbury cheese !
SLENDER
Ay , it is no matter .
PISTOL
How now , Mephostophilus ?
[15]ACT 1. SC. 1
SLENDER
Ay , it is no matter .
NYM
Slice , I say ! Pauca , pauca . Slice , that’s my humor .
SLENDER
, ( to Shallow )
Where’s Simple , my man ?
Can you tell , cousin ?
SIR HUGH
Peace , I pray you . Now let us understand ;
there is three umpires in this matter , as I understand :
that is , Master Page ( fidelicet Master Page ) ;
and there is myself ( fidelicet myself ) ; and the three
party is , lastly and finally , mine Host of the Garter .
PAGE
We three to hear it and end it between them .
SIR HUGH
Fery goot . I will make a prief of it in my
notebook , and we will afterwards ’ork upon the
cause with as great discreetly as we can .
FALSTAFF
Pistol .
PISTOL
He hears with ears .
SIR HUGH
The tevil and his tam ! What phrase is this ,
‘He hears with ear’ ? Why , it is affectations .
FALSTAFF
Pistol , did you pick Master Slender’s purse ?
SLENDER
Ay , by these gloves , did he — or I would I
might never come in mine own great chamber
again else — of seven groats in mill-sixpences ,
and two Edward shovel-boards that cost me two
shilling and twopence apiece of Yed Miller , by
these gloves .
FALSTAFF
Is this true , Pistol ?
SIR HUGH
No , it is false , if it is a pickpurse .
PISTOL
Ha , thou mountain foreigner ! — Sir John and
master mine , I combat challenge of this latten
bilbo . — Word of denial in thy labras here ! Word of
denial ! Froth and scum , thou liest .
SLENDER
, indicating Nym
By these gloves , then ’twas
he .
NYM
Be avised , sir , and pass good humors . I will say
‘marry trap with you’ if you run the nuthook’s
humor on me . That is the very note of it .
[17]ACT 1. SC. 1
SLENDER
By this hat , then , he in the red face had it .
For , though I cannot remember what I did when
you made me drunk , yet I am not altogether an
ass .
FALSTAFF
What say you , Scarlet and John ?
BARDOLPH
Why , sir , for my part , I say the gentleman
had drunk himself out of his five sentences .
SIR HUGH
It is ‘his five senses .’ Fie , what the ignorance
is !
BARDOLPH
, to Falstaff
And being fap , sir , was , as
they say , cashiered . And so conclusions passed the
careers .
SLENDER
Ay , you spake in Latin then too . But ’tis no
matter . I’ll ne’er be drunk whilst I live again but in
honest , civil , godly company , for this trick . If I be
drunk , I’ll be drunk with those that have the fear of
God , and not with drunken knaves .
SIR HUGH
So Got ’udge me , that is a virtuous mind .
FALSTAFF
You hear all these matters denied , gentlemen .
You hear it .
Enter Anne Page with wine .
PAGE
Nay , daughter , carry the wine in . We’ll drink
within .
Anne Page exits .
SLENDER
O heaven , this is Mistress Anne Page .
Enter Mistress Ford and Mistress Page .
PAGE
How now , Mistress Ford ?
FALSTAFF
Mistress Ford , by my troth , you are very well
met . By your leave , good mistress .
He kisses her .
PAGE
Wife , bid these gentlemen welcome . — Come , we
have a hot venison pasty to dinner . Come , gentlemen ,
I hope we shall drink down all unkindness .
All but Slender , Shallow , and Sir Hugh exit .
SLENDER
I had rather than forty shillings I had my
book of
Songs and Sonnets here !
[19] ACT 1. SC. 1
Enter Simple .
How now , Simple ? Where have you been ? I must
wait on myself , must I ? You have not the
Book of
Riddles about you , have you ?
SIMPLE
Book of Riddles ? Why , did you not lend it to
Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last , a fortnight
afore Michaelmas ?
SHALLOW
, to Slender
Come , coz ; come , coz . We stay
for you . A word with you , coz . Marry , this , coz :
there is , as ’twere , a tender , a kind of tender , made
afar off by Sir Hugh here . Do you understand me ?
SLENDER
Ay , sir , you shall find me reasonable . If it be
so , I shall do that that is reason .
SHALLOW
Nay , but understand me .
SLENDER
So I do , sir .
SIR HUGH
Give ear to his motions , Master Slender . I
will description the matter to you , if you be capacity
of it .
SLENDER
Nay , I will do as my cousin Shallow says . I
pray you , pardon me . He’s a Justice of Peace in his
country , simple though I stand here .
SIR HUGH
But that is not the question . The question is
concerning your marriage .
SHALLOW
Ay , there’s the point , sir .
SIR HUGH
Marry , is it , the very point of it — to Mistress
Anne Page .
SLENDER
Why , if it be so , I will marry her upon any
reasonable demands .
SIR HUGH
But can you affection the ’oman ? Let us command
to know that of your mouth , or of your lips ;
for divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of
the mouth . Therefore , precisely , can you carry your
good will to the maid ?
SHALLOW
Cousin Abraham Slender , can you love her ?
[21]ACT 1. SC. 1
SLENDER
I hope , sir , I will do as it shall become one
that would do reason .
SIR HUGH
Nay , Got’s lords and His ladies ! You must
speak positable , if you can carry her your desires
towards her .
SHALLOW
That you must . Will you , upon good dowry ,
marry her ?
SLENDER
I will do a greater thing than that , upon your
request , cousin , in any reason .
SHALLOW
Nay , conceive me , conceive me , sweet coz .
What I do is to pleasure you , coz . Can you love the
maid ?
SLENDER
I will marry her , sir , at your request . But if
there be no great love in the beginning , yet heaven
may decrease it upon better acquaintance , when
we are married and have more occasion to know
one another . I hope upon familiarity will grow
more content . But if you say ‘Marry her ,’ I will
marry her . That I am freely dissolved , and
dissolutely .
SIR HUGH
It is a fery discretion answer , save the fall is
in the ’ord ‘dissolutely .’ The ’ort is , according to
our meaning , ‘resolutely .’ His meaning is good .
SHALLOW
Ay , I think my cousin meant well .
SLENDER
Ay , or else I would I might be hanged , la !
Enter Anne Page .
SHALLOW
Here comes fair Mistress Anne . — Would I
were young for your sake , Mistress Anne .
ANNE
The dinner is on the table . My father desires
your Worships’ company .
SHALLOW
I will wait on him , fair Mistress Anne .
SIR HUGH
’Od’s plessèd will , I will not be absence at
the grace .
Sir Hugh and Shallow exit .
ANNE
, to Slender
Will ’t please your Worship to come
in , sir ?
[23]ACT 1. SC. 1
SLENDER
No , I thank you , forsooth , heartily . I am very
well .
ANNE
The dinner attends you , sir .
SLENDER
I am not ahungry , I thank you , forsooth . ( To
Simple . ) Go , sirrah , for all you are my man , go
wait upon my cousin Shallow . ( Simple exits . ) A
Justice of Peace sometime may be beholding to his
friend for a man . I keep but three men and a boy
yet , till my mother be dead . But what though ? Yet
I live like a poor gentleman born .
ANNE
I may not go in without your Worship . They will
not sit till you come .
SLENDER
I’ faith , I’ll eat nothing . I thank you as much
as though I did .
ANNE
I pray you , sir , walk in .
SLENDER
I had rather walk here , I thank you . I bruised
my shin th’ other day with playing at sword and
dagger with a master of fence — three veneys for a
dish of stewed prunes — and , by my troth , I cannot
abide the smell of hot meat since . Why do your
dogs bark so ? Be there bears i’ th’ town ?
ANNE
I think there are , sir . I heard them talked of .
SLENDER
I love the sport well , but I shall as soon quarrel
at it as any man in England . You are afraid if
you see the bear loose , are you not ?
ANNE
Ay , indeed , sir .
SLENDER
That’s meat and drink to me , now . I have
seen Sackerson loose twenty times , and have taken
him by the chain . But , I warrant you , the women
have so cried and shrieked at it that it passed . But
women , indeed , cannot abide ’em ; they are very ill-favored
rough things .
Enter Page .
PAGE
Come , gentle Master Slender , come . We stay for
you .
[25]ACT 1. SC. 2
SLENDER
I’ll eat nothing , I thank you , sir .
PAGE
By cock and pie , you shall not choose , sir ! Come ,
come .
SLENDER
Nay , pray you , lead the way .
PAGE
Come on , sir .
SLENDER
Mistress Anne , yourself shall go first .
ANNE
Not I , sir . Pray you , keep on .
SLENDER
Truly , I will not go first , truly , la ! I will not do
you that wrong .
ANNE
I pray you , sir .
SLENDER
I’ll rather be unmannerly than troublesome .
You do yourself wrong , indeed , la !
They exit .
ACT 1. SC. 3
Scene 3
Enter Sir John Falstaff , Host , Bardolph , Nym , Pistol ,
and Robin , Falstaff’s Page .
FALSTAFF
Mine Host of the Garter !
HOST
What says my bullyrook ? Speak scholarly and
wisely .
FALSTAFF
Truly , mine Host , I must turn away some of
my followers .
HOST
Discard , bully Hercules , cashier . Let them wag ;
trot , trot .
FALSTAFF
I sit at ten pounds a week .
HOST
Thou ’rt an emperor — Caesar , Keiser , and
Pheazar . I will entertain Bardolph . He shall draw ,
he shall tap . Said I well , bully Hector ?
FALSTAFF
Do so , good mine Host .
HOST
I have spoke . Let him follow . — Let me see thee
froth and lime . I am at a word . Follow .
Host exits .
FALSTAFF
Bardolph , follow him . A tapster is a good
trade . An old cloak makes a new jerkin , a withered
servingman a fresh tapster . Go . Adieu .
BARDOLPH
It is a life that I have desired . I will thrive .
PISTOL
O base Hungarian wight , wilt thou the spigot
wield ?
Bardolph exits .
NYM
He was gotten in drink . Is not the humor
conceited ?
FALSTAFF
I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderbox .
His thefts were too open . His filching was like an
unskillful singer ; he kept not time .
NYM
The good humor is to steal at a minute’s rest .
PISTOL
‘Convey ,’ the wise it call . ‘Steal’ ? Foh , a fico
for the phrase !
FALSTAFF
Well , sirs , I am almost out at heels .
PISTOL
Why , then , let kibes ensue .
FALSTAFF
There is no remedy . I must cony-catch , I
must shift .
[29]ACT 1. SC. 3
PISTOL
Young ravens must have food .
FALSTAFF
Which of you know Ford of this town ?
PISTOL
I ken the wight . He is of substance good .
FALSTAFF
My honest lads , I will tell you what I am
about .
PISTOL
Two yards and more .
FALSTAFF
No quips now , Pistol . Indeed , I am in the
waist two yards about , but I am now about no
waste ; I am about thrift . Briefly , I do mean to make
love to Ford’s wife . I spy entertainment in her . She
discourses ; she carves ; she gives the leer of invitation .
I can construe the action of her familiar style ;
and the hardest voice of her behavior , to be Englished
rightly , is ‘I am Sir John Falstaff’s .’
PISTOL
, aside to Nym
He hath studied her will and
translated her will — out of honesty into English .
NYM
, aside to Pistol
The anchor is deep . Will that
humor pass ?
FALSTAFF
Now , the report goes , she has all the rule of
her husband’s purse . He hath a legion of angels .
PISTOL
, aside to Nym
As many devils entertain , and
‘To her , boy ,’ say I .
NYM
, aside to Pistol
The humor rises ; it is good .
Humor me the angels .
FALSTAFF
, showing two papers
I have writ me here a
letter to her ; and here another to Page’s wife , who
even now gave me good eyes too , examined my
parts with most judicious oeillades . Sometimes
the beam of her view gilded my foot , sometimes
my portly belly .
PISTOL
, aside to Nym
Then did the sun on dunghill
shine .
NYM
, aside to Pistol
I thank thee for that humor .
FALSTAFF
O , she did so course o’er my exteriors with
such a greedy intention that the appetite of her
eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass .
[31] ACT 1. SC. 3 Here’s another letter to her . She bears the purse
too ; she is a region in Guiana , all gold and bounty .
I will be cheaters to them both , and they shall be
exchequers to me ; they shall be my East and West
Indies , and I will trade to them both . Go bear thou
this letter to Mistress Page — and thou this to Mistress
Ford . We will thrive , lads , we will thrive .
PISTOL
Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become ,
And by my side wear steel ? Then Lucifer take all !
NYM
, to Falstaff
I will run no base humor . Here , take
the humor-letter . I will keep the havior of
reputation .
FALSTAFF
, giving papers to Robin
Hold , sirrah , bear you these letters tightly ;
Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores . —
Rogues , hence , avaunt , vanish like hailstones , go ,
Trudge , plod away i’ th’ hoof , seek shelter , pack !
Falstaff will learn the humor of the age :
French thrift , you rogues — myself and skirted page .
Falstaff and Robin exit .
PISTOL
Let vultures gripe thy guts ! For gourd and fullam
holds ,
And high and low beguiles the rich and poor .
Tester I’ll have in pouch when thou shalt lack ,
Base Phrygian Turk !
NYM
I have operations which be humors of revenge .
PISTOL
Wilt thou revenge ?
NYM
By welkin and her star !
PISTOL
With wit or steel ?
NYM
With both the humors , I . I will discuss the
humor of this love to Ford .
PISTOL
And I to Page shall eke unfold
How Falstaff , varlet vile ,
[33] ACT 1. SC. 4 His dove will prove , his gold will hold ,
And his soft couch defile .
NYM
My humor shall not cool . I will incense Ford to
deal with poison . I will possess him with yellowness ,
for the revolt of mine is dangerous . That is
my true humor .
PISTOL
Thou art the Mars of malcontents . I second
thee . Troop on .
They exit .
Scene 4
Enter Mistress Quickly and Simple .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
What , John Rugby ! ( Enter John
Rugby . ) I pray thee , go to the casement and see if
you can see my master , Master Doctor Caius , coming .
If he do , i’ faith , and find anybody in the
house , here will be an old abusing of God’s patience
and the King’s English .
RUGBY
I’ll go watch .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Go , and we’ll have a posset for ’t
soon at night , in faith , at the latter end of a seacoal
fire . ( Rugby exits . ) An honest , willing , kind fellow
as ever servant shall come in house withal ; and , I
warrant you , no telltale nor no breed-bate . His
worst fault is that he is given to prayer . He is something
peevish that way , but nobody but has his
fault . But let that pass . Peter Simple you say your
name is ?
SIMPLE
Ay , for fault of a better .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
And Master Slender’s your master ?
SIMPLE
Ay , forsooth .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Does he not wear a great round
beard like a glover’s paring knife ?
SIMPLE
No , forsooth . He hath but a little wee face ,
with a little yellow beard , a Cain-colored beard .
[35]ACT 1. SC. 4
MISTRESS QUICKLY
A softly-sprited man , is he not ?
SIMPLE
Ay , forsooth . But he is as tall a man of his
hands as any is between this and his head . He hath
fought with a warrener .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
How say you ? O , I should remember
him . Does he not hold up his head , as it were ,
and strut in his gait ?
SIMPLE
Yes , indeed , does he .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Well , heaven send Anne Page no
worse fortune ! Tell Master Parson Evans I will do
what I can for your master . Anne is a good girl , and
I wish —
Enter Rugby .
RUGBY
Out , alas ! Here comes my master .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
We shall all be shent . — Run in here ,
good young man . Go into this closet . He will not
stay long .
( Simple exits . ) What , John Rugby !
John ! What , John , I say ! Go , John , go enquire for
my master . I doubt he be not well , that he comes
not home .
Rugby exits .
( She sings . )
And down , down , adown ’a , etc.Enter Doctor Caius .
DOCTOR CAIUS
Vat is you sing ? I do not like dese toys .
Pray you , go and vetch me in my closet un boîtier
vert , a box , a green-a box . Do intend vat I speak ?
A green-a box .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Ay , forsooth . I’ll fetch it you .
( Aside . )
I am glad he went not in himself . If he
had found the young man , he would have been
horn-mad .
She exits .
DOCTOR CAIUS
Fe , fe , fe , fe ! Ma foi , il fait fort chaud . Je
m’en vais à la cour — la grande affaire .
Enter Mistress Quickly with a small box .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Is it this , sir ?
DOCTOR CAIUS
Oui , mets-le à mon pocket . Dépêche ,
quickly . Vere is dat knave Rugby ?
[37]ACT 1. SC. 4
MISTRESS QUICKLY
What , John Rugby , John !
Enter Rugby .
RUGBY
Here , sir .
DOCTOR CAIUS
You are John Rugby , and you are Jack
Rugby . Come , take-a your rapier , and come after
my heel to the court .
RUGBY
’Tis ready , sir , here in the porch .
DOCTOR CAIUS
By my trot , I tarry too long . Od’s
me ! Qu’ai-j’oublié ? Dere is some simples in my
closet dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave
behind .
He exits .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Ay me ! He’ll find the young man
there , and be mad !
Enter Doctor Caius .
DOCTOR CAIUS
O diable , diable ! Vat is in my closet ? Villainy !
Larron ! ( Pulling out Simple . ) Rugby , my
rapier !
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Good master , be content .
DOCTOR CAIUS
Wherefore shall I be content-a ?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
The young man is an honest man .
DOCTOR CAIUS
What shall de honest man do in my
closet ? Dere is no honest man dat shall come in
my closet .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
I beseech you , be not so phlegmatic .
Hear the truth of it . He came of an errand to me
from Parson Hugh .
DOCTOR CAIUS
Vell ?
SIMPLE
Ay , forsooth . To desire her to —
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Peace , I pray you .
DOCTOR CAIUS
Peace-a your tongue . — Speak-a your
tale .
SIMPLE
To desire this honest gentlewoman , your
maid , to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page
for my master in the way of marriage .
[39]ACT 1. SC. 4
MISTRESS QUICKLY
This is all , indeed , la ! But I’ll ne’er
put my finger in the fire , and need not .
DOCTOR CAIUS
, to Simple
Sir Hugh send-a you ? —
Rugby , baille me some paper . — Tarry you a little-a
while .
Rugby brings paper , and Doctor Caius writes .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
, aside to Simple
I am glad he is so
quiet . If he had been throughly moved , you should
have heard him so loud and so melancholy . But
notwithstanding , man , I’ll do you your master
what good I can . And the very yea and the no is ,
the French doctor , my master — I may call him my
master , look you , for I keep his house , and I wash ,
wring , brew , bake , scour , dress meat and drink ,
make the beds , and do all myself —
SIMPLE
, aside to Quickly
’Tis a great charge to come
under one body’s hand .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
, aside to Simple
Are you advised o’
that ? You shall find it a great charge . And to be up
early and down late . But notwithstanding — to tell
you in your ear ; I would have no words of it — my
master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page .
But notwithstanding that , I know Anne’s mind .
That’s neither here nor there .
DOCTOR CAIUS
, handing paper to Simple
You , jack’nape ,
give-a this letter to Sir Hugh . By gar , it is a
shallenge . I will cut his troat in de park , and I will
teach a scurvy jackanape priest to meddle or
make . You may be gone . It is not good you tarry
here . — By gar , I will cut all his two stones . By gar ,
he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog .
Simple exits .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Alas , he speaks but for his friend .
DOCTOR CAIUS
It is no matter-a ver dat . Do not you tell-a
me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself ? By gar , I
vill kill de jack priest ; and I have appointed mine
[41] ACT 1. SC. 4 Host of de Jarteer to measure our weapon . By gar ,
I will myself have Anne Page .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Sir , the maid loves you , and all shall
be well . We must give folks leave to prate . What
the goodyear !
DOCTOR CAIUS
Rugby , come to the court with me .
( To
Mistress Quickly . )
By gar , if I have not Anne Page ,
I shall turn your head out of my door . — Follow my
heels , Rugby .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
You shall have Anne —
Caius and Rugby exit .
fool’s head of your own . No , I know Anne’s mind
for that . Never a woman in Windsor knows more
of Anne’s mind than I do , nor can do more than I
do with her , I thank heaven .
FENTON
, within
Who’s within there , ho ?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Who’s there , I trow ? Come near the
house , I pray you .
Enter Fenton .
FENTON
How now , good woman ? How dost thou ?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
The better that it pleases your good
Worship to ask .
FENTON
What news ? How does pretty Mistress Anne ?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
In truth , sir , and she is pretty , and
honest , and gentle ; and one that is your friend , I
can tell you that by the way , I praise heaven for it .
FENTON
Shall I do any good , think’st thou ? Shall I not
lose my suit ?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Troth , sir , all is in His hands above .
But notwithstanding , Master Fenton , I’ll be sworn
on a book she loves you . Have not your Worship a
wart above your eye ?
FENTON
Yes , marry , have I . What of that ?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Well , thereby hangs a tale . Good
faith , it is such another Nan ! But , I detest , an honest
[43] ACT 1. SC. 4 maid as ever broke bread . We had an hour’s
talk of that wart . I shall never laugh but in that
maid’s company . But , indeed , she is given too
much to allicholy and musing . But , for you , — well ,
go to .
FENTON
Well , I shall see her today . Hold , there’s
money for thee . ( He hands her money . ) Let me
have thy voice in my behalf . If thou see’st her before
me , commend me .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Will I ? I’ faith , that we will . And I
will tell your Worship more of the wart the next
time we have confidence , and of other wooers .
FENTON
Well , farewell . I am in great haste now .
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Farewell to your Worship .
( Fenton exits . )
Truly an honest gentleman — but Anne loves him
not , for I know Anne’s mind as well as another
does . Out upon ’t ! What have I forgot ?
She exits .